I can honestly say this weekend was the first time in my entire life I’ve stopped, taken a full, deep breath and truly reflected.
Sure I’ve taken yoga classes and attempted meditation in an effort to decrease stress and relax, but it’s always had an end point. I leave those sessions and immediately return to my fast-paced life — hardly even looking in the rearview mirror to process my experience.
This past weekend I attended the Nantucket Yoga Festival. I’m sure some of you saw my tweets or Insta posts and thought, ‘Well, isn’t she so centered and leading a balanced life.’
Actually, this is exactly the reason I felt I needed to go.
As of late I have been experiencing some darkness in my life. Not being one to air on the side of pessimism, I’ve had a hard time dealing with these emotions. I am the first to admit I do not deal with stress well.
I shut people out. I want to be alone. I basically become a cobweb of negativity that can not be untangled or separated from itself. Bottom line: I can’t get out of my own way.
To say this retreat taught me things is an understatement. With speakers like Gabrielle Bernstein and the wise Tao Porchon-Lynch, I felt I could completely immerse myself in the spirit of the weekend — no judgements.
Berstein spoke about being ‘spiritually bankrupt’ … a feeling that has been all too present in my life lately. Whether you’ve been distance from your faith or passions, this palpable emotion rears its ugly head.
For me, I know I haven’t been quenching my thirst for my passions: Feeling healthy, helping others become their best self and practicing what I preach — finding time for fitness. I’ve been consumed with work and other obligations, not taking a certain word into account … Balance.
It’s time for me to get out of this state. Rebuild after being in submerged in this passion-filled debt. I must work on finding that balance in my life and practice maintaining it.
This is the bank of me and I refuse to drown in dues.
Have you ever felt spiritually bankrupt? How do you take strides to get better yourself?