Disclaimer: As my mom calls it, ‘salty language’ will be heavily distributed throughout this post. I am not ashamed nor apologizing, however, I am warning you. Grab a cocktail, you may need it.
Saturday evening my boyfriend and I broke up. Wednesday at 2 p.m. I was laid off from my job.
The problem is, they were both extremely unexpected and painfully close together. Did I see either coming at me? Not entirely. However, as is life, chances are taken and people and places are trusted. Ultimately curve balls are thrown your way. And it is up to you to decide how you’d like to deal with the pain.
A.) Be knocked out cold. B.) Put an ice pack on your bruises. Or, C.) Dust yourself off and stand the fuck up.
I told you, salty language. Sorry, mom.
So while I am not going to give you a play-by-play of this week’s events, I will offer you a synopsis as well as how I’ve decided to handle it all. Wine in hand, obviously.
Would I love to go ‘Eat, Pray, Love’ or ‘Under the Tuscan Sun’ the shit out of this situation? Of course I would. But the reality is I am 28 and my bank account is looking a little scary. So these days a Margherita pizza from Piazza Novello in Florence paired with a glass of Chianti from a small Tuscan village is more realistically Dominos thin crust with a side of Carlo Rosso.
Let’s take it back …
By Wednesday at 2:45 p.m. my world had been rattled. I felt sad, angry, frustrated, embarrassed and most certainly alone. Two stable aspects of my life had been pulled out from underneath me like a tablecloth covered in dish ware. Except, this was no magic trick and the perfectly placed table settings came crashing down in slow motion, radially shattering all around me.
After the initial shock subsided, I packed my book bag and joined my astonished co-workers at a nearby bar for a large-and-in-charge glass of wine. Reminiscing over the past year and a half made me laugh uncontrollably while tears of sadness rolled down my cheeks. This was one huge reason I’d miss my job — these individuals are both talented and real and even in my darkest state we able to make me crack a smile.
I made my way home — via the train I might add — and spent about 45 minutes crying in my bed before I made a decision. I could lay here, alone, sobbing into my West Elm pillowcase or I could get up and be with the people who loved and cared about me.
So I did.
3 miles and 25 minutes later I was in the presence of some of the most supportive people I know. Hugs were embraced, F bombs thrown and tears shed (again). I knew in that moment, I was with my people. I was where I was supposed to be. And I was proud of myself for not staying in bed.
It’s been a few days since the layoff and over a week since the breakup. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t still really sad. I am. While I am not defined by my job or relationship status, two incredible pieces of my puzzle are now gone.
There’s a new word in my vocabulary I’ve been using quite a bit lately: Perspective.
In any situation at any moment you always have a choice. You can view the dilemma as positive, negative, a life lesson or merely a bump in the road. It’s all about perspective. Instead of honing in on this week of complete chaos, I am choosing to see a larger picture. One that includes every single incredible human that has held me up this week.
Because at the end of the day I could easily be consumed by all the negative. I could lay in my bed watching Netflix with a heavy pour of Savignon Blanc and a Cosco-sized bottle of ZzzQuill nestled on my side table.
Instead, I am selecting a vantage point that includes new opportunities both within my career and my personal life.
It’s my perspective. And from where I stand I am choosing to see it as vast and limitless.