DisclaimerAs my mom calls it, ‘salty language’ will be heavily distributed throughout this post. I am not ashamed nor apologizing, however, I am warning you. Grab a cocktail, you may need it. 

Saturday evening my boyfriend and I broke up. Wednesday at 2 p.m. I was laid off from my job.

The problem is, they were both extremely unexpected and painfully close together. Did I see either coming at me? Not entirely. However, as is life, chances are taken and people and places are  trusted. Ultimately curve balls are thrown your way. And it is up to you to decide how you’d like to deal with the pain.

A.) Be knocked out cold. B.) Put an ice pack on your bruises. Or, C.) Dust yourself off and stand the fuck up.

I told you, salty language. Sorry, mom.

So while I am not going to give you a play-by-play of this week’s events, I will offer you a synopsis as well as how I’ve decided to handle it all. Wine in hand, obviously.

Would I love to go ‘Eat, Pray, Love’ or ‘Under the Tuscan Sun’ the shit out of this situation? Of course I would. But the reality is I am 28 and my bank account is looking a little scary. So these days a Margherita pizza from Piazza Novello in Florence paired with a glass of Chianti from a small Tuscan village is more realistically Dominos thin crust with a side of Carlo Rosso.

Let’s take it back …

By Wednesday at 2:45 p.m. my world had been rattled. I felt sad, angry, frustrated, embarrassed and most certainly alone. Two stable aspects of my life had been pulled out from underneath me like a tablecloth covered in dish ware. Except, this was no magic trick and the perfectly placed table settings came crashing down in slow motion, radially shattering all around me.

After the initial shock subsided, I packed my book bag and joined my astonished co-workers at a nearby bar for a large-and-in-charge glass of wine. Reminiscing over the past year and a half made me laugh uncontrollably while tears of sadness rolled down my cheeks. This was one huge reason I’d miss my job — these individuals are both talented and real and even in my darkest state we able to make me crack a smile.

I made my way home — via the train I might add — and spent about 45 minutes crying in my bed before I made a decision. I could lay here, alone, sobbing into my West Elm pillowcase or I could get up and be with the people who loved and cared about me.

So I did.

3 miles and 25 minutes later I was in the presence of some of the most supportive people I know. Hugs were embraced, F bombs thrown and tears shed (again). I knew in that moment, I was with my people. I was where I was supposed to be. And I was proud of myself for not staying in bed.

It’s been a few days since the layoff and over a week since the breakup. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t still really sad. I am. While I am not defined by my job or relationship status, two incredible pieces of my puzzle are now gone.

There’s a new word in my vocabulary I’ve been using quite a bit lately: Perspective.

In any situation at any moment you always have a choice. You can view the dilemma as positive, negative, a life lesson or merely a bump in the road. It’s all about perspective. Instead of honing in on this week of complete chaos, I am choosing to see a larger picture. One that includes every single incredible human that has held me up this week.

Because at the end of the day I could easily be consumed by all the negative. I could lay in my bed watching Netflix with a heavy pour of Savignon Blanc and a Cosco-sized bottle of ZzzQuill nestled on my side table.

Instead, I am selecting a vantage point that includes new opportunities both within my career and my personal life.

It’s my perspective. And from where I stand I am choosing to see it as vast and limitless.

-TTT

201 Comments

  1. Such a tough time, but I know you will power through! I always feel like everything happens for a reason and you end up finding better opportunities! I’m looking forward to see where you end up!

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    • grifo disse:Caro Alexander, se entendi bem a sua mensagem, você está dizendo que comprando as Mistral a França irá transferir para a Rússia tecnologias como o motor de propulsão, controle eletrônico do navio, etc.Admiro o otimismo do colega russo em relação às promessas de transferência de tecnologia da França. E prometo que, caso a Rússia compre mesmo as Mistral, enviarei para o colega uma caixa da famosa cerveja brasileira “Caracú” para brindarmos juntos a esta parceria.

    • I know I probably missed the fun already (that and I don’t have a TV) but can I just say…this whole election has been a wreck and half with some laughs thrown in, especially this mess with Palin. I can hardly stand it anymore….And now I’m best get back to my far, faaaar corner of the field.

    • Sep07admin Daniel a ride before you nuke the 26′er GUni would be cool. My fitness atm is really sh*t though, that might be a bit of a drag for ya, seriously it’s lame. But.. could catch the steam train out to Maldon and ride back through the bush to Castlemaine – that’s a fun ride and would be a hoot on the GUni. ?

    • I wake up with a positive attitude,knowing I made it this far,bounce out of bed and get beautiful to treat myself (my kids love it too),and get ready for family.When the family arrive,which is my favourite part,we have a feast with antipasti and smoked salmon.mmmm.A generous amount of wine and giggles later,I retire to a movie and smile about my day.That is my absolute treat.

    • due punti di vista diversi.Sono conscio che non cambieremo idea per qualche post.Del resto penso che Lei sia convinto di ciò che scrive e non lo faccia con malizia, sarebbe sciocco e Lei non mi sembra sciocco.Dunque abbiamo più o meno già esposto tesi pro e contro il ruolo di Pietro, ormai penso non ci sia molto da aggiungere.

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    • Wow what a great review! I’ll have to check out this book! I don’t get to read much these days, but the Library has been good to me with book on CD or digital. Thank you so much for stopping by my blog! The hotdogs I think were from some butcher shop my mom goes to. Crazy huh, I remember being young and getting the packaged kind!I know not always the most healthy, I’m working on portions … LOL. I’m sure you could but an organic or wheat twist onto it ;).[]

    • anonymous 11:14, you wrote:I have young white male/females in my classes, who stand in my face and send all of that subliminal and not so subliminal 'historical' arrogance to me on a daily basis. These are not vague imaginings. Subliminal arrogance? Does that mean you believe you can read minds? I've noticed that when blacks criticize white attitudes they present the evidence of their criticisms in the form of "knowing how whites think."Unimpeachable credibility? Yes?

    • I encountered your blog only in 2011 and immediately liked your writing style. Had been trying to read your old posts (starting from the earliest) so I was disappointed when I visited your blog yesterday: the posts were all gone (I am still in page 257!). But I am glad that you finally published the book. I hope my signed paperback copy will arrive soon as I prefer a physical book to an e-book (still about 1/3-way reading the e-book and it is a great read). Wishing you all the best in life and I hope someday you will be back to blogging 🙂

    • Thiago, obrigado pelo comentário!Fico feliz em saber que não fui o único a me decepcionar – ainda mais levando-se em conta que vc experimentou mais de uma vez.Este vai para a lista dos não indicados…Saúde!

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    • never seen this movie. It sounds hilarious though. I mean always up for a dumb but hilarious movie. Who I know what you mean though! Applying to college might be the most stressful process ever, so being able to watch someone go through the same process and stress over it makes you feel so much better. Obviously the best way to do this is by watching a hilarious movie like this. definitely going to check it out!

    • vabbè, ora pensiamo all’Atalanta e poi parleremo di mercato: se perdiamo sarebbe una tragedia considerato che la zona Champions è già distante sei punti che potrebbero diventare 9 in caso di sconfitta!Spero che il turnover sia ridotto xchè non servirebbe a niente arrivare allo scontro con la Juve con 10 punti di distanza…..Ma Donadel ritornerà mai????

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  2. Amy

    You are and always have been such a resilient female. I am so humbled by your posts. Thank you for the constant reminder that life happens and that’s ok. I love you bums. Your amazing and the best is yet to come for you. Xo

  3. Talk about a shitty week. When it comes to break ups, my mom always says “you never waste time wanting someone who doesn’t want you.” It sounds harsh. but it’s SO TRUE and really helps keep that whole perspective thing in check. On to bigger and better things, my friend!!! xoxo

  4. You are one fabulous woman and life definitely has a lot of ups and downs and ones that truly test us emotionally and physically! You have got a great attitude for tackling this next chapter in your life and you are going to ROCK it…BIG time. And you know I am always here for you…maybe we’ll be sipping on wine together sooner than you think. 😉 XOXO

  5. that is a brutal week. I’m here for you lady and you are so strong and will power through this! 5 years from now you’ll look back on this moment and see the amazing opportunities (and men) these breaks opened up for you! Call me anytime girlie! Miss you xoxox

  6. Womp. those two things are hard on their own, but when you combine them into one week it’s just too much!! Your positive outlook is so wonderful- I really struggle with that, especially these days, so this is a good reminder to stop being so negative! hang in there- it will all get easier! xo

  7. I can only imagine how hard those two events are on their own, but when they happen at the same time…what a blow. I think you’re handling the whole situation with grace and courage, Caroline. I wish you all the best! I hope that you know that this is just one door closing and another opening. On to bigger and better things! xoxo

  8. I have spent the morning stalking your blog and I can clearly tell that you are so strong! That was definitely a tough week but everything happens for a reason! Great things are already unfolding for you! Looking forward to what you venture to next 🙂

    -Breana

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