Alright, this one’s taken me a while to write.
Also, I’ve spent many-a-hours coming back and editing it. Why? Because, honestly, I wasn’t sure I wanted to share this publicly … but after my most recent (i.e. June/July) series of events, I decided … What the heck.
Let me preface by saying this is purely based on my experience with dating in 2016 and not intended to be a blanket statement to all men, dating, etc. I’m optimistic about my future.
Over the past six months I’ve dipped my big toe back into the dating pool. Okay, maybe I dove in. Bumble, Hinge, Match … Regardless of the swipable or wink-filled format, I vowed to put myself out there at the ripe age of 29. I promised (when speaking with friends or family) I would no longer mumble the words, “online dating” or make excuses for the idiots who made the unkind decision to ghost me.
Ghosting (via Urban Dictionary): The act of suddenly ceasing all communication with someone the subject is dating, but no longer wishes to date … Many attempt to justify ghosting as a way to cease dating the ghostee without hurting their feelings, but it in fact proves the subject is thinking more of themselves, as ghosting often creates more confusion for the ghostee than if the subject kindly stated how he/she feels.
Instead, I’d approach these dates with fewer expectations and more of an emphasis on having fun. Because, if you don’t set a bar there’s less opportunity for disappointment, correct?
From physical chemistry to witty texting banter, it didn’t seem to matter … my toned-down tactic kept leading me back to where I started; Single and frustrated. ‘Stop searching‘, some friends would say, ‘Don’t worry, he’s still out there.‘
I am aware of this. I don’t actually think I’ll still be perusing Ok Cupid when I’m 65.
And if I am, someone smack the phone straight out of my hand.
Sure it sucks being the only single girl at a wedding or constantly seeing engagements, weddings and babies pop up on your Facebook newsfeed, but that isn’t the reason I decided to write this post. Less about ‘finding someone’ and more about the looming disappointment that inevitably follows many of these dates. Depressing, I know.
With a busy — and currently new job schedule — meeting for after-work drinks can be tricky. Since I’m usually teaching a fitness class or at the school during those hours, it takes some rearranging to find a day/time that works. This traditionally means one thing: More texting. This leads us to our first ‘tale’ …
The Forever Pen Pal
Let’s get one thing incredibly clear. I really, really, really don’t want to be your pen pal. Texting is a great way to establish communication, decide on a date, etc. but having long drawn out conversations pre-meeting … don’t do it. Please.
The Instagram Double-Clicker
Picture this — see what I did there — We’ve been dating, let’s say a few months, and you finally realize it isn’t for you. You lose interest/don’t want to be in a relationship/fill in the blank here … We go our separate ways. Weeks later I see you “like” my Instagram picture.
Let me ask you this, why the heck are you still following me on social media? Better yet, why are you double-clicking on my image?? Don’t do it. It’s weird. Awkward. I’m not sure what it means, but it’s just plain odd.
Previously described and (unfortunately) a constant offender.
The Social Multi-Media
There’s no reason to communicate on 5 different types of social media. Pick one. Twitter DM, Instagram DM, FB Messenger, Snapchat, texting … the whole thing’s exhausting and quite frankly confusing.
Ask for my digits, simple as that.
Have you experienced any of these gems? Whether the culprits are male or female, interested in a relationship or not … I believe we all deserve a bit more in today’s dating world.
Okay, a lot more.
Thoughts? Toss ’em my way.