Not Perfect & Not Good Enough

Alright. Hands up if you’ve been watching ABC’s The Bachelor this season? While I’ve been relatively sporadic about the rose-giving reality show, I’d be lying if I told you I didn’t sneak in an episode here and there on Hulu.

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Traditionally I tune-in to the drama-filled show after watching a terrifying, yet incredible, episode of Black Mirror.

What can I say, I need something light and airy before I hit the hay …

So, let’s get to it.

If you aren’t caught up on The Bachelor, the latest episode ended with only 6 ladies remaining, many tears shed and lacking a whole-lot-of-self-worth. Nick, ‘The Bachelor’, sent three women home due to ‘not feeling a connection’. My response? Completely valid. Don’t force relationships that aren’t there just to have it turn sour once the cameras turn off.

Reality is a [fill in a bad word here] when lavish trips to St. Thomas get replaced with overcrowded Market Basket outings. Oh and those hours spent lounging poolside? Yah, that becomes an afternoon of paying bills.

I digress … before America’s sweetheart shed a few tears and confessed his anxiety about not finding genuine love, I was bombarded by the saddening remarks these ‘sent home ladies’ had to say about themselves.

I guess I’m not perfect.

I’m not good enough.

They were clearly upset, sobbing in the limo or left solo on the beach. They have a camera stuck in their  face minutes after being rejected. Feeling sad and frustrated — again, undeniably valid — but stooping to a low place and stating that you’re not good enough? On national television?

Just, no.

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It is clear to me, while I watch these gorgeous and I’m sure educated women, that leaving home to be on The Bachelor was a major wager in their game of Life.

Think about it: Subletting an apartment, leaving a job / using up all of your vacation time / missing weddings, funerals and birthdays. All of these women packed up [multiple] bags and shipped out to CA for a chance at falling in love on reality TV.

I’m certainly not calling this crazy, I’m aware they signed up for this. In fact, I think this leap of faith is somewhat courageous. What I do not hold on such high a pedestal, however, is this negative self talk when it comes to men.

While I’m in a very positive and loving relationship now, my past dating history was not so sunny. I was ghosted / stood up / not called texted back / left hanging / ignored.

Bottom line: I was rejected many times.

Throughout it all, though, I made a pact to myself to never use the language, “I’m not ____ enough”.

I’m not pretty enough.

I’m funny enough.

I’m not good enough.

Have you been on Twitter lately? Googled ‘Lady Gaga Halftime Show’?

Trust me, there are enough of trolls cruising around the internet body-bashing and producing negative chatter. The last thing our society needs — or our young ladies watching — is to witness these types of self-talk.

You are enough.

And for Pete’s sake, don’t define your worth by the status of a relationship. You’re better than that. We’re better than that.

All I can hope is that deep down we know it. And that sometimes — especially when we’re tired / sunburnt / had too much to drink / or are shoved in front of a camera lens post-breakup — all we need is a little reminder.

P.S. You’re enough. 

-TTT

Hashtag Blessed

Don’t worry … it’s not going to one of those kinds of posts.

You know, the kind where I tell you all about the amazing things happening in my life and pretend like nothing bad has occurred. The ‘Instagram of Blog Posts’, as I like to call it. Where I would select a flattering filter to mask my smile lines, acne scars and stray eyebrow hairs. Where everyday is a white-washed image of my life … no dark circles, empty bank accounts or negativity.

#blessed

Nope, it’s not going to be like that.

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Thus far 2017 has brought me a few challenges — some personal and others more public. But, it is my intention this year to focus more on the good than the bad. More on what brings me joy than what drags me down.

So, in a very matter of fact and real tone, I’m writing to say that I have been feeling grateful lately. Especially grateful, actually.

I finally feel settled and in a routine at work. My family and friends are happy, in healthy relationships and celebrating major life milestones this year (hooray for marriage and babies!). And I have found someone who I truly love, who makes me smile and laugh and (if you can believe it or not) enjoys TRX and IPAs just as much (or possibly more) as I do.

Plus, side note: If you find someone who is willing to get up at 5 a.m. just to stand in the freezing/pouring rain for 2+ hours just to watch you finish the B.A.A 1/2 Marathon … he’s a keeper. Oh, and he held my backpack too. And held me up when I got sick afterwards from dehydration. Yup, like I said, keeper. 

Aside from balancing my work life/a long distance relationship/friends, I feel most grateful for my dedication to becoming stronger in 2017.

Nope, not deadlifting more weight or squatting more than ever. Which is fine if that’s what you’re after … I’m just not there right now. I’m talking about trying new programs and challenging myself in new ways. However, holding a 60-second plank and not flinching or being able to do a headstand no problem makes me feel like an absolute baller.

For the first time — in a long time — I feel strong. From the inside out. It’s a sense of balance I haven’t felt in a long time and I’m really, really digging it.

Internally to externally I finally feel as if I have a plan. Not just the secure health plan I am now a part of, but a plan plan.

Where am I going professionally? What am I doing with regards to my business?

All of these questions no longer seem so daunting. While I don’t really have them figured out I no longer feel like I have to have them finalized. It’s a weight off my shoulders that leaves me feeling lighter.

So, there you have it.

This post all began when I found this image floating around on Instagram. I posted it and was immedietly filled with commentary about this idea of ‘gratefulness’.

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What are you grateful for in 2017? I’d love to hear … 

-TTT

Duck, Duck … Move Your Yoga Mat, Please

I’ve never been one to write a blog post just to “get a blog post up” // stay relevant // for fear of losing readers.

I must feel motivated to write. Find something in my day-to-day life that screams at me in a high shrill, “You MUST blog about this!”

Related: This truth couldn’t be clearer due to the fact I have two perfectly good ‘draft’ posts that I’ve started writing currently sitting in the ‘waiting room’, i.e. “The TTT Post Section” of WordPress. 

I digress …

With a lot going on lately — holidays, travel, work, a long-distance relationship — I figured it was about time to step back onto my yoga mat after a much needed few weeks off.

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Legit has nothing to do with this post … except it’s a baby doing a yoga back bend. Amazing.

Honestly, I got to the point where I was going to yoga every single day. Don’t get me wrong, that’s not a bad thing! However, for me, when unrolling my mat became habit —  a ritual of sorts — and I began to lose interest and focus while I was practicing, I took it as a sign it was time to CHANGE IT UP.

And, in true TTT fashion, I did just that. So a few weeks had passed and I was craving the low-cardio, high-flexility class … so I decided to partake.

Unfortunately, so did everyone else in the Greater Boston Area.

After circling the rather large parking lot 4 (yes, four) times to find a spot I became somewhat agitated. I was 30 minutes early to a Power Flow and the was nearly denied when I saw an end space open up. Jumping out of my car and racing through the parking lot to the entrance I noticed there was another class finishing up and surely I’d be able to lay out my mat and enjoy yoga-ing without the fear of getting kicked in the face.

The room where our class was to take place was vacant except for two lone mats awaiting their participants arrival from filling their water bottles. This can’t be the whole class, I thought … I quickly remembered I was there a solid 20 minutes before our opening Om.

I laid down on my mat, face and palms facing upwards in a relaxed position, listening to the calming music as I began to relax. I knew class was almost ready to begin when more and more bare feet slapped and clapped against the wood floor. I kept my eyes shut and continued to stay relaxed.

A few minutes before class began, I sat up gently and opened my eyes.

The room was packed. And while I had never been asked to move my mat, it was clear some in the rows further back had been. As I sat cross-legged I scanned the room looking for any familiar faces. When none appeared I remembered that we were only a couple days into the new year … Welcome, resolution-ers.

The instructor entered the room and spent a few minutes selecting his music. More and more people continued to enter … and this is where our adult-namaste version of “Duck, Duck, Goose” comes into play.

With each new Yogi that entered came the impeding fear that you’d be asked to move your mat.

But I got here 1/2 hour early! This is my favorite spot in the room! 

You could tell many already planted participants were trying to avoid eye contact, act distracted or lay in savasana.

This led me to thinking … what is the proper protocol for last minute mat-lay-downers?

Whatever the answer — nice or otherwise — it left me laughing thinking this was all a large game of sweaty, yoga-mat-carrying, Duck Duck …

Goose.

 

-TTT